Sad again..
Haiz.. Feeling down again.. Same old prob.. still haven found a solution to it.. I duno how to make her commit to the feeling again.. She doesnt wan to put in anymore le.. She keeps mentioning she's tired.. I duno whether wad i said tat nite makes any sense anot leh. Sometimes i feel tat she really got touched tat nite den decide to continue putting effort.. sometimes i feel tat she's like jus got touched for tat few moments nia.. den suddenly xin ruan for tat few moments..
Now i feel like she's back to null feeling leh. duno lah.. sometimes very sad over it.. I know wad i did half yr back is terribly bad.. But she decide to forgive and patched back wif me tat time le mah.. Den now cant b she regret rite? A bit too long le ba? Haiz. Does she really wan to giv chance for herself de? the fact that she keeps saying tired and tired and tired makes my hopes gone lesser and lesser and lesser..
Den recently add new problems.. She is mistakened over many things which i said lor.. Some words are indeed wad i said la. But not tat meaning mah.. Haiz. duno is i got wrong way of expressing my words anot.. Den another thing.. Recently she happened to keep repeating some things ma.. Den i really hear till sianz le.. tell her dun repeat liao.. den she assume i dun like her talk abt the topic.. Duh.. Not tis meaning mah.. Haiz.. Really suddenly got comm prob out of nowhere..
Sometimes i really hope she can initiate chatting wif me or initiate a date wif me mah.. Den she assume tat she muz date me for future outings like tat.. Haiz. den she scared kena reject by me again.. Got phobia.. Wah lau.. Only 2 times nia leh. Ok la.. the 2 times r impt things.. I already apologise le mah.. Haiz... Initiate chatting like "how's ur day?" i also happy le. den she say "den next time i do tat lor".. the tone like kena forced like tat.. Haiz.. Jus little things ask her do.. She also say.. "tired le.. dun wan do anything now le.." M i tat sickening meh?
Den hor.. Is it too much for her to update me juz when she go back msia or come back sg? I jus need to know her whereabouts ma.. So long aga aga know she's back or she's away can le lor... She also can argue over it... Haiz... Not as if like wan her to report to me every now and den.. Den like tat a bit overboard le lah..
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH ME NOW???? Haiz...............
Choy! I dun wan to end like tat lor.. Muz fulfil wad we said tat nite.. IF AND ONLY IF she can do tat...
first time i hope she dun read my blog anymore arh.. I so stressed tat i duno how to vent out.. so decide to do it here.. haha..
Wad should i do ar?? I really wan the old her back leh.... How ar? *sobz*sobz*