Am i tat screwed up?
Haiz. Wad does she wants from me? 1st qns i woud like to ask myself,
"Am i tat screwed up?"
I mean, everytime when she's emotional abt the r'ship, does tat mean she had nv been happy wif me b4? Does tat mean she has already reach her tolerance? Does tat mean i'm making her feel terrible? Am i hurting her tat much? If so, y does she say i'm not fucked up?
She demands more care & concern and whenever i do tat, she tends to ask herself whether i'm doing for the sake of doing anot. So does tat mean i lack sincerity? or does tat mean her expectations r too high?
And i really wan to ask myself again. Or can anyone juz ans me. Am i really such a bad character? I've been like asking myself for mths, wad hav i not done? Mayb i really lack sincerity ba. She don't feel it. She don't feel touched for anything i do. Or does she?
I'm very sad now lo. She's like emo-ing again for duno wad reason tis time. I tot we solved the problems already? And y is she thinking of all these again? Cant we like stay together as we r now? Y cant she stop thinking negatively? Have i really not proven tat i can care for her? Have i really not shown the basic characteristics of a bf? Now 1st qns for her and hope she do read tis,
"Aren't u happy wif me?"
And i want to clarify, I'm not doing for the sake of doing. Perhaps she think i did cuz i'm following wad she said. Too bad.. I'm not.
I duno la. I feel tat each time i changed for the better, i've been hurting her more instead of making her feel better. But.. tat's wad she wants ma. Mayb she wants the original lame LKC? Lol. Tat would be impossible already. I'm already the changed product of wad she wants. And again, i AM NOT forcing myself to change. I feel happy each time i can do smth for her. I dun think she thinks likewise.
Someone may wan to ask me, "hav u ever wanted her to change for the better?" Of cuz i do. But at least i dun compare better gals wif her. Definitely there r gals wif better qualities than her. But wad for i ask her to change to adopt the better qualities of them? Den might as well i go stead wif them lo. Haha. I'll ask her to change bits & bits to suit my style, juz like the way she does. Except tat she keep doing.. till now... Which makes me sad and sad and sad. I still haven met her standards. Haiz. And plz. I'm not trying to sound i'm soooo noble hor. Juz tat itz true mah!! I nv did tat lor.
Seriously, over these 2 yrs, i dare to admit i'm a much better bf now. She might think likewise, but she wants more improvements.
*MORE MORE MORE!!!*
SINCERTIY CARE CONCERN STATUS
*MORE MORE MORE!!*
"Am I such a screwed up boyfriend?"
I'm going crazy~!! Arghhhhhh~~~~!! =(