Define a boyfriend
Logically, the simplest things a bf can do is to take care, show concern and share problems with his gf. I've done to the extreme minimum before. When she said how much she hope i can put in more efforts in showing the care and concerns, i was stunned. I thought i had put in enough. But apparently she doubt i've done enough. Its ok.. I've tried my ways to improve myself in showing much more care and concern tat i could. I did things which i've nv done before in the past. Good things though... Personally, i find it was a great improvement from the past. But y.. y she have to stop it? yes, in the past when she wants such improvements, i couldn't put in more. But now, when i did show it, she says its too late for improvements. Isn't there a phrase saying "better late than nv" ? Her frenz often say i'm prematured, slow thinking la.. etc etc. Fine.. i admit those though. Now i've changed for the slightly better, she said she couldn't get used to my "gd qualities improvement" . I was like wtf sia.. I'm trying to be a gd bf, some1 who can be proud of in front of her frenz. Yet, she degraded me, ask me dun do any changes in future. So am i right to say i'll NEVER make it to be that some1 she can be proud of?
can some1 define the meaning of a bf? she's depriving all my rights as a bf. got bf = no bf isn't it?She claims tat she love me. Correct, i can feel tat. But all the more i hope i can be the one for her. i'm so inferior compared to her frenz la. in wad way am i better than her frenz?? Wads the factor tat i'm missing from them? y can't i hav the rights to care, to improve, to change for the better? the thing i dun understand the most is, wads too late? And y her frenz can do that?! Things hav changed to tat extreme limit now. Something which both of us dun wan to. Isn't it gd to tell others "my bf now treats me gd gd le.. showed much more care & concern than before le.. hehe" ?? Dun she feel happy tat i've done better? Isn't it a gd sign? Wadz too late? Is there a hidden meaning?
she claimed she has lost some confidence in the r'ship due to the phobia being back again. so wad did either one of us did to cause the loss and bring back the phobia? i really can't take it lor.. seriously very stressed now. Improve -> Expect More -> Din hit expectations -> Disappointed. Don't improve -> Sad -> Disappointed. Whatever i did/not also doesn't bother her. Can any1 feel such stress for me?
Some updates
Wooooooo... been a supppperrrr long time since i've updated.
Letz see wadz missing.. well. basically on April's Fool.. Me and her got back together eventually and.. itz 1 mth today~! Haha. duhz. still got some probs in between though. Haiz.. i feel damn hopeless.. I feel that i can't give her the right security and sincerity. Hope things can get better though.. I can't afford to give up now. Gambateh..
Next.. the stupid exams that are going ard nw. Haiz.. 4 papers are gone. Left one more on fri. Life Sci.. ZZZZZZZZZ.. DNA DNA AND DNA.. wtf.. so dryyyyyy.. Argghhh.. Aft exams will be a series of meetings and meetings and here comes my camp. :p And also looking fwd to the chalet next wk. :) Hope it wil be a fun one though.. Keke.
ok.. pretty much did a wonderful summary of wadz going on with me for past 2 mths liao. lol. jiayou everyone~ tata
Bad days
Haiz.. What's wrong recently?
Laptop down, projects lagging, studies lagging.. Haiz. My big boss asking me to take over him for FOP next yr. Should i or should i not? So many concerns to care of. So many things to overlook. Haiz. I got interest but no guts. Contradictive mind sia. Haizzzzzzz... Zen me ban?
Everything seems to be on the downside of me. Is it so hard to entertain a gal? Haiz. Wad i wan is juz chat with her normally, joke with her.. make her feel less stressed. Can't i juz do such simple things? Feel so useless sia. I understand the feeling of being stressed. I try hard not to make her feel more pissed off. Looks like i failed terribly. NOt even a chance to try anything. Haiz. Here comes the problems in stage 2. Muz learn to solve it peacefully. Hopefully tmr can get to meet her. den talk to her abt tis.. Solving probs in process~ She's now so bothered with her work.. I think i was really wrong to start arguement with her. Haiz. Pray hard can meet her tmr lor.. want to solve this before things get serious lor.. From this, i can really deduce we need to overcome the greatest problem: mis-communication, the root of all problems.
I need a breather~!